One month of being a mom

Today we celebrate month 1 of life with Olivia.  It makes me sad that it is passing so quickly.  I love every little moment with her.  Even the hard ones - the perpetual sleep deprivation, the spit up inside and down the back of my shorts (yes, this actually happened), and the untimely crying in the grocery store after being so good on the car ride there.  Each day with a newborn is different and presents new excitement and new challenges.  So 30 days into this journey of parenthood, I'm reflecting on a few things I've learned so far:

1.  The mothering instinct really is there
I've been amazed and surprised how natural being a mother is.  It's something God has instilled in women and seems to really come out, at least for me, when you have a child of your own.  For example, in the past when I've been around crying babies, I didn't really know what to do with them and didn't necessarily desire to comfort them.  That's what their own mother was for, right?  However, with my own child, I want to comfort her when she is crying and mysteriously, I usually seem to know what she needs to calm down.

 2.  It's ok for her to cry in public around other people
So this one is a work in process.  I can't say I'm completely there yet, but I'm working on it.  I'm very conflict-adverse and like to try to make everyone's life around me as happy and content as possible.  Somehow in my mind I think that if other people hear a baby crying, and sometimes loudly, it's going to ruin their day and they are going to think I'm a terrible mother.  I have to remind myself that Olivia is 1) not perfect...as much as I like to think sometimes that she is :) and 2) she is a baby after all and babies cry so people can just deal with it.  It's probably really not going to send them into a downward spiral of depression.

3. Geoff is a awesome dad
Not that I'm surprised at all.  Of course I knew he would be or else I don't think I would have married him.  But it's been fun to actually see him now in this new role.  He's a pro at changing diapers, giving baths and making crazy faces and noises at her.  I love how he's so excited to see her and spend time with her when he comes home from work after a long day.  He's also willing to get up during the middle of the night or early in the morning to rock her back to sleep after I feed her so that I can go back to bed.  At least I can try to squeeze naps in during the day, but he can't.  What a trooper!

4. Often I have to decide between taking a shower or eating lunch
Olivia and I are falling somewhat into the routine of things.  This routine definitely revolves around her schedule and needs, not mine.  I find that I have several hours broken up throughout the day of "me" time and I have to decide what's the most important thing to me to do at that moment.  Do I want to spend the 30 minutes I have working out or taking a much needed nap?  Would I rather take a shower or respond to emails?  Tough decisions sometimes!

5.  Life with a baby is good, just different
During my pregnancy, as excited as I was about the prospect of having a baby, a part of me was kind of sad to be leaving behind life as a DINK (dual income no kids).  After seven plus years of marriage, Geoff and I were very settled into our routine.  We spent a lot of time just doing our own thing and hanging out together.  Life was good.  While I was pregnant, everyone kept telling us our lives were going to change and frequently, they made it sound like they were going to change for the worse - like we would never have fun ever again.  They were right.  Life is different.  However, it's different in a very wonderful way and now our fun just incorporates a baby into it.  We are still growing accustomed to our new lifestyle, but I'm sure pretty quickly the days of just the two of us will be distant memories, replaced with much richer and fuller ones as a family of three.